Articles

Articles on this page:-

• Finding my North Star
• Tango with Horses! Parts 1 & 2
• Stress Relief through Horses
• The non-training of horses; the re-socialising of humans: A revolutionary approach to horsemanship for the 21^st century.

 

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Finding my North Star 

It is only very recently in my life that I have begun to believe in synchronicities. My story of how I found my equine soul-mate North Star, was such a synchronistic experience and one of true love. And therefore one also ultimately of heartbreak. 

Having wanted my own horse ever since I could say the word horse, I spent thirty six years pining for this special animal to come in to my life, and sure enough one day in September 2008 he did.

I had graduated from Epona and was fully engrossed in starting up my business Equine Reflections, excited to be sharing this powerful and beautiful form of healing and growth with others. At that time I was working with other people’s horses to run workshops and sessions. One morning I arrived at one of these venues to start my day, when the owner said to me “Would you like a cup of tea? And would you like a 12 year old bay gelding?” 

She had been recently contact by a friend of hers who was a groom on a local point-to-point yard. They’d had another shipment of horses in from Ireland, one of which was a 12 year old former race horse, which is very old in racing terms, so he was very lucky to still be alive. The yard owner could find no use from him and so unless someone came forward to give him a home he was destined for the meat market. 

My reply to my colleague was “yes please and yes please.” Without knowing anything about this horse, I knew he was the one. I had begun actively looking for a horse over the past year, I’d been to visit a few but none of them had felt right. So I asked her for more information about him, and she rang her groom friend on the spot to get more details and set up a time for me to visit. When I asked what his name was, I was told “Ard Hudie.” Immediately I replied very firmly, “that’s not his name.” To the astonishment of my friend. 

About a week later I arrived at the yard to visit Ard Hudie. The owner, an old- time jockey and dealer, took me to him in his stable. His stable was too small for him and very, very dark, it was filthy and he had no food. The guy proceed to shout at the horse, pushing him on his chest to get him to move back so we could go in. I stood back, respecting this horse’s personal space and the fact that I am a stranger wanting to enter his space. 

I let the owner give me his details, all the while I quietly tuned into this gelding, conveying to him in my head that it was okay, and I was here to take him away. The guy offered me a ride on him. I declined. I said I would visit again. Which I did within a few days. Again he offered me a ride, again I declined, instead I asked if it would be okay if I take him into the outdoor school and just be with him. The guy looked at me as if I was mad, but he agreed. So I led the horse into the school and let him loose. At first he ran to the fence and called to his field buddies, I stood quietly in the centre of the arena, breathing deeply into my body, there were no nerves in me, just excitement at finding out what this horse of mine was like. 

After a minute or so, he turned towards me and walked over, I immediately walked in front of him taking a cue from him and his energy and he followed me. We had a blissful join-up, he never left my side the rest of the time we were in the school. He followed me in all directions and back to the centre, where we stood and I stroked him. In that moment I was now completely certain I was going to buy him. 

Once more back in his horrible stable, the owner came in and continued pushing this gentle horse back. All the while I told him in my head: “I will let you express yourself.” 

Several weeks later I bought Ard Hudie and moved him to a lovely new livery yard just ten minutes from my house. And our journey together began.

Starting with his immediate physical and psychological rehabilitation as he was very underweight, and had very tight, hard muscles from all the hard feed and work he’d received all his life. He now had as much food as he needed, turn out and a loving owner and gentle loose schooling to loosen up his muscles and spine. I decided not to ride him and in fact I didn’t sit on him for a whole year. I wanted to let him just be, rest and re-gain himself. 

But this was not a one-way rehabilitation. Very quickly this gelding began to work on me and my issues. My lack of self-confidence and belief in my own power. My ability to set firm but flexible boundaries and my need to speak up for myself. It was the start of a huge period of growth within me and when I think of where my confidence is now compared to just four years ago, my growth is enormous. 

During my time at Epona I had also become aware of and very interested in Shamanic practices. At the time I bought this gelding, I asked a friend of mine who was a shamanic healer, to journey to this horse’s spirit and ask him what his real name was. She did and he told her this: “My name is North Star.” When she asked him why, he replied simply “Because I am the Way.” 

Those of you familiar with Epona’s founder, Linda Kohanvo’s work, will know she penned the phrase “The Way of the Horse” to describe how horses are helping humans grow and heal. When I heard this it all seemed to fit. North Star had come to me to show me the way, and all those people I would work with as part of my Epona practice. 

Just a few days after bringing North to his new home, I woke one morning to hear these words: ”North Star wants you to Journey to him.” Journeying is a  technique that shamans use to communicate with their spirit guides for information and to carry out healings. So I diligently journeyed that same afternoon, to the spirit of North Star. In the journey, I saw him appear and walk towards me. I said to him, with tears in my eyes, “I’ve been waiting for you.” He replied “I know, and I’ve been waiting for you.” It was an experience of the deepest kind of connection and knowing. We both knew each other already. And this moment of coming together had been determined long, long ago. It’s hard to describe this sort of experience but it was so true and so moving. It was like finding a part of myself. 

Some shamanic tribes believe that humans have something called a “bush soul”, this can be a tree, animal or plant, with which they have a psychic identity.  A Jungian analyst I once worked with recommended very early on in our work together, that I read Phillip Pullman’s trilogy “His Dark Materials”, as he was convinced my affinity with animals but horses in particular was akin to what Pullman depicts as “daemons” in his books; an animal part of the person’s soul, who mirrors their feeling state. 

My connection with North Star was so deep, and both known yet unknown that it felt like we were part of each other. 

Over the three years that North and I were together we both passed through immense amounts of healing, and our bond was deep and secure throughout this time. 

Then to my astonishment and initial resistance, in the summer of 2011 an accumulation of events over the past 12 months, led me to make the unbelievably hard decision to sell North Star. 

This I did and he has gone to a lovely new owner and home. 

My journey after his departure has been very hard indeed. His sale happened so quickly and so easily that it is still sinking in for me that we are no longer together. At this point I can barely say his name let alone anymore about him without tears pricking my eyes. And at times, I feel into the deep, heart-splitting pain that is there. It literally feels like my heart is broken. It is grief. And it is scary. Initially I would experience it as a huge hole in my stomach, and I couldn’t breath. 

Six months on, I am now starting to understand what seems to have taken place. North came to me for a purpose. To help me grow and to experience the deep love one can have for a horse. My own horse. And specifically to fulfil that life-long dream of mine. 

And, I now can allow myself to honour what I did for him also. I saved him from death. I helped him recover from a life time of hard work, being under-fed and being pushed around. I gave him his voice back. And he re-gained his immense power in his body and his character. From being the bottom of the herd, being pushed around by youngsters, to being the definitive lead horse in any herd. From being a powerless horse that was moved around by people, to being the ultimate teacher of boundaries for me and my EFL clients. 

Everyone who met him and worked with him in my practice, commented on how beautiful he was and what a strong yet gentle horse he seemed to be. 

Because of his strength he also brought up a lot of fear in people, as he insisted on people standing firmly in their power, setting their boundaries and finding enough of their own inner strength to be assertive, but without being aggressive. 

I have no doubt that he is working quietly and gently with his new owner to help them gain new strength and power, and to work on their boundaries. 

I felt so very much as if he was conveying to me as he left me “I’ve done what I needed to do with you. Now I need to move onto to someone else.” 

I also felt, that like Lara in His Dark Materials, I had to go through a rite of passage. I had to consciously and willing release my “Daemon” in order to grow and move on to my next phase in my life. 

Ironically North lives just a twenty minute drive from where I now live. He is so close by, yet he could be the other side of the world. Although it is still too painful for me to visit him, and maybe it’s right that I don’t, I still feel deep inside that we are so very connected still, at a deep non-physical level. And I’m convinced we always will be. 

© Angela Dunning, March 2012.

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Tango with Horses. Part 1: Lessons in Connection, Leadership and Presence. 

I remember vividly my first ever Tango lesson, I was nervous as hell initially, but as soon as we started actually walking around the room with our leader, a big smile started to appear on my face. Not only had I overcome my fears and years of self-consciousness and was finally dancing a proper dance, but I was struck by this thought: “This is what I do with horses!” 

Now to you Tangueros and Tangueras who don’t deal with horses, this may sound a bit mad, but bear with me. 

Six or so years ago I returned to horses after a long gap and many years of feeling disillusioned with the old-school approach to handling and riding horses; that of control, dominance and the use of tools and equipment.

However, through my re-discovery of all things Horse, I came upon natural horsemanship and more specifically, a newly emerging field called Equine Facilitated Learning & Therapy (EFL). This is an approach that enables people to learn deeply about themselves and how they conduct relationships, including looking at issues of self-confidence, control, non-verbal communication skills, energetic connections and wait for it, leadership. 

Sound familiar to all you Tango addicts??? 

Around about the same time period, I began to learn and dance Tango. 

Six years on, and many, many amazing experiences with many different horses, as well as witnessing many of my clients also having amazing connections, and many more years of experience on the Tango floor, I am still struck by the parallels between dancing tango with someone and connecting with a horse in this natural, and heart-felt way. 

Initially in one of my EFL sessions, the human connects non-verbally with a horse in an exercise called “Meet the Herd”, in essence the horse and the human cabaceo each other. They choose who they both want to dance with in that moment. Yes, the horses get to choose and they certainly do. 

They then go through what we call “The Boundary Dance”, where the asking and accepting have to be worked out in a mutual and respectful way, if it isn’t then either party may back off. In EFL, myself and the client then process this and I gently guide them to an alternative approach. Once they’ve agreed to dance together, they go onto the dance floor, or in this case the round pen. And there the dance goes into full swing. 

A session last about as long as a Tanda, with several rounds of connecting. If all goes well, they come together and move together either in a gentle walk around the round pen, or at a more lively trot or canter, with the human taking the leadership role and asking the horse to move freely around them. 

No matter what the pace or “activity”, it is always the connection that is pivotal. If this gets lost, the flow is broken. This usually happens when the person starts worrying about themselves not being good enough, or that they can’t do it. Occasionally the horse gets distracted by a noise or lush grass. Either way, the connection needs to be re-gained and the dance begins again. 

When I dance with a horse, the horse is loose, I breath into my body and I invite the horse to follow me, or “join-up”. It’s as if there are invisible strings connecting us, just like when I dance with a tango partner. In both cases, I’m feeling what is going on for me and my partner, intuiting or sensing what is happening and being fully in the present moment. With a horse, I take the leaders role, more so than in Tango; that I’m still learning to do. 

I know when I’m dancing as when I’m with a horse, that if my mind drifts from the present moment of being in that moment, then I loose the connection, or I don’t sense what’s happening, of the horse wanders or stops. In Tango, I’ll not follow that particular step very well. 

When I’m being led in Tango I can tell what my leader is conveying, and I can tell when they loose their connection to themselves and the moment. Just as when I’m leading a horse in a dance, if my self-belief dips just slightly, or I loose concentration, I loose the beautiful connection for that brief moment. 

One of the other key parallels for me is that both Tango and EFL involves connecting heart-to-heart with the other being. In my EFL work, I actually teach people how to do this and there is even science behind how the heart’s electromagnetic field works and connects us all, see http://www.heartmath.com 

Horses respond 100% more to our hearts than our heads and our words. They feel what we are feeling in our hearts, whether that’s sadness, fear or utter joy. This is all conveyed invisibly, non-verbally and energetically. Again, as it does on the Tango floor. 

For me, Tango is a dance from the heart, two people connected through their hearts to each other and the music. 

In so many ways, I’ve realised that each Tango dance is like it’s own mini round pen EFL session. A dance of boundaries, self-awareness, connection, presence, communication and leadership. All vital life skills, which reveal much about ourselves and how we relate to others; equine or human. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this. And maybe one day I’ll bring my two passions together and run a workshop for tango enthusiasts with the horses, literally where you could be Dancing with Horses. 

To find out more about my EFL practice and dancing with horses, please visit: www.equinereflections.co.uk. 

© Angela Dunning, 12^th January 2012

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Tango with Horses, Part 2:

The importance of Intention and Vulnerability on and off the dance floor. 

One of the key mysterious ingredients to dancing Tango is having a clear and confident Intention.  Often teachers ask their students what is it that the leader does to convey where and how he is going so that his follower can magically somehow follow? The answer is through his intention. This is a hard thing to sometimes describe as it is a non-visible and somewhat intangible action, but it’s the key to being a good leader. 

It is also a vital aspect of dealing with horses in any capacity, whether handling them, caring for them or riding them. 

In Equine Facilitated Learning & Therapy (EFL), this ingredient is often a route into working out what is going on between the person and the horse. A person can have an idea about what they want to achieve, and they set off towards a horse, seemingly confidently, to achieve it. But at times the horse doesn’t respond or they do the exact opposite of what the person is wanting. 

Through our dissection of what the person is thinking and feeling in that moment, what arises time and time again, is self-doubt. Usually along the lines of: “I don’t think I can do this.” Or, “That horse doesn’t like me.” Or, “He isn’t going to come to me.” And one of the most common ones is a fear of being observed, i.e. by me, the facilitator. And coupled with this fear is a deeper seated one of not being liked, i.e. of me judging them in some way. 

So what I’ve ascertained from noticing the subtle clues from the horses is that it is vital that the person’s intention is congruent. That is, that what they are wanting to achieve is in alignment with how they are really feeling. And often, the way to achieve congruency can be as simple as acknowledging the feelings of self-doubt that have come up. 

In Tango, how many times have you danced with a leader who is trying his hardest to get the move right, you can see him literally puffing himself up, and setting sail with all his might, determined to lead you. Yet, behind this ‘bluster’ I sense, is some unacknowledged self-doubt, undermining his efforts. For me, I experience that dance as one of little or even no connection. For how can you connect to someone or something else when you’re not fully connected to yourself? I.e. your real feelings. 

When a person tries to approach a horse in this state, often the horse moves away, or ignores them. I’ve seen horses stand rooted to the spot despite the person expending huge amounts of energy trying to encourage them to move. 

Yet, get your intention aligned with a congruent and fluid sense of “I can do this” and “I’m good enough” and that same horse will glide effortlessly with you in any direction you wish. 

Which leads me to the next part of this article: That it’s okay to feel vulnerable. 

We’re taught in our society and through our up-bringing, not to show our feelings, especially the so-called negative or ‘weak’ ones, like fear, anger or vulnerability. We carry this into our adult lives and it manifests in ways such as feeling self-conscious. 

For example, in a Tango class, how many times have you been practising the move the teacher has just shown you, with your partner, and it’s going well, until… the teacher moves to your end of the room and you’re aware of their presence. This triggers a deep-seated fear of being watched and judged, and all of a sudden you just can’t perform that same move for love nor money. You fall apart, saying, “Oh I just can’t get this one right.” The teacher moves on and suddenly you’re able to try it again. Hmm… 

Learning a dance is filled with times like this, where we’re in a public setting, being watched, and yes at times, judged by others, which leads to a whole host of self-doubts creeping in. 

In my EFL work it’s these moments of self-doubt that lead to the breakthroughs for people, and which lead to a renewed sense of self-worth and personal power. Enabling them to create a clear and congruent intention, one which the horse can happily respond to. Leading me to conclude that it’s actually allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable that enables us to learn, grow and move forward, whether on the dance floor, with a horse in a round pen or with aspects of our life in general. 

When we mask our vulnerability with bravado, our partner, whether equine or human, feels this and the experience is sort of hollow. 

In the first part of these two articles I referred to making heart based connections with horses as being a highly effective way of connecting and dancing with horses. Our true feelings are seated in our hearts, our self-doubts come from the mind, leading to a blurred message for horses. Hence they tend to stay away from us when we’re full of self-doubt and conversely happily come straight to us when we’re feeling into our hearts, and therefore our feelings. 

My experience of dancing Tango is often like this too. I have times when my bravado is masking my vulnerability and I just don’t dance that well. At other times, I’m fully present, feeling into my body, responding to my leader and not worrying about anything about myself, my partner or the rest of the dancers present. I feel truly connected. And I fully enjoy the experience.

© Angela Dunning, 19^th January 2012

www.equinereflections.co.uk www.equinereflectionsefl.wordpress.com

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 Stress Relief through horses

Did you know that being around horses is a fast-track to relaxation, inner calmness and most significantly, stress relief? 

This article will explore what stress is and how horses help relieve stress. 

What is Stress? 

I’ve always understood Stress to be the tension we carry in our bodies emanating from our minds, our worry-based fears and thoughts about things going on in our life. 

Stress manifests in various ways, common symptoms include: 

• Racing thoughts and mind
• Worry based thought patterns
• Always thinking either of the future or of the past
• An inability to relax and self-soothe, meditate, rest, etc
• Lethargy, tiredness, heaviness
• Sleep patterns are disrupted
• Bodily symptoms including tension, aches, pains, digestive disorders, skins complaints, headaches or migraines, etc
• Depression
• Disinterest in life
• Withdrawal from the company of others
• Reduced participation in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

These are all the commonly known and recognised symptoms of modern day stress. 

How do horses help relieve stress? 

1) Reduction in worry-based thoughts and fears - 

Because horses live fully in the present, neither thinking of the past nor worrying about the future, being in their company can bring us into the present moment. 

2) Being Present - 

When we’re in the present moment we are focussed on what we are feeling and experiencing right in the here and now. This in itself immediately reduces the symptoms and feelings of being “stressed”. 

3) Non-Judgment of feelings-

We can trust horses to hold no judgment against us – they accept us fully for who we are and therefore it feels safe to tell them things we find hard to reveal to other people. Horses particularly respond positively to us when we release our emotions around them. And when we acknowledge our feelings, our body and mind relaxes.

4) Relaxation of mind & body – 

When around horses we have to be body-focussed to be safe and to enable them in turn to feel safe to relate to us. This inevitably leads to us breathing more deeply, which in turn, releases more oxygen into our muscles and hence, they start to relax. 

5) Inner peace and enjoyment returns – 

By engaging with horses in someway, whether this is simply being with them or grooming or riding, again we are focussed in the moment of this experience, and again our body can’t help but relax, as our mind is not focussed on our worry-based thoughts.

Once a sense of inner calm returns then other symptoms such as depression, a feeling of isolation and anxiety naturally ease. 

6) Release of positive Energy – 

Significantly what then happens is a release of vital energy in the body, enabling us to feel, think and act more positively. 

At a deeper level I now understand that the times I feel “stressed” are when I have disconnected from a vital part of myself. What do I mean by this? Well, it could be a part of my shadow I have trouble owning, or a vital part of my essence, and therefore my power has disconnected within me and I feel very vulnerable and powerless. 

Again, here’s how the horses help me detect being “disconnected from myself” when I’m around them:- 

• They act as if I’m not there 
• They avoid my closeness of proximity and especially my physical touch
• They can seem distracted, almost disorientated or dissociated themselves 
• They’re jittery, spooky, hard to catch, groom, lead, etc 
• If I’m riding – again they’re spooky, reluctant to go forward of deal with things they would usually be okay with, e.g. going through water or doing gates. 

My EFL practice using the Epona methods enable people to re-connect to all the parts of themselves leading ultimately to reduced stress and empowerment. Contact me through my website to find out more about my work.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences of stress here or to ask me any questions about stress relief though horses. 

Experience the beauty, joy and relaxation of horses through Equine Facilitated Learning with Angela and her horses, or with your own horse at your own home. www.equinereflections.co.uk

 © Angela Dunning

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“The non-training of horses; the re-socialising of humans:

A revolutionary approach to horsemanship for the 21^st century”. 

It is time to speak out and outline my beliefs about horsemanship for the 21^st Century.

In my observations and experiences of Equine Facilitated Learning (EFL), I’ve discovered that the most effective form of “horsemanship” involves a complete abandonment of all methods, technique’s, training or equipment (sorry BHS, Pat Parelli, Monty Roberts, et al). Whilst simultaneously undertaking an urgent re-socialisation of people; to readdress the wounds caused through upbringing and society’s rules.

Here’s my bottom line: It is the person that needs “training”, actually healing; not the horses.

Once we shift our patterns of emotion, thought and then behaviour, the horse shifts along with us in a more harmonious way, offering to be beside us no matter what we’re asking of them. 

I see this over and over again both within myself and my EFL clients. I also see the opposite when a person can’t shift themselves and they remain stuck and the horse remains un-engaged and reluctant to participate, if not dangerous on occasion. 

In The Way of the Horse, Linda Kohanov describes the brutal origins of all horse training and handling used today throughout the world. Kohanov also cites the fact that the origins of horse training, in particular dressage, stem from horses historically being used as war horses and therefore the military approach of control and dominance is central within the training and handling. 

This conquest mentality has infiltrated all corners of equestrianism to the point that we don’t even notice it’s operating in our behaviour, including all aspects of equestrianism from breeding and gelding, to horse management and competing to the ordinary horse owner just out for a hack. 

That a horse should “Stand!” When held or tied, or when being mounted rather than be allowed to move if it feels it needs to, is nothing short of dominance heavily covered up in politeness or: “Manners!” 

A person’s control and power over another being and a large and very powerful one at that, is nothing short of food for the Ego. This is not “horsemanship”; it’s revenge. 

Here’s what I mean. Another layer is being played out in this dynamic between most people and horses. 

Our experiences as young children usually involved substantial periods of feeling utterly powerless and vulnerable. The deeply buried memories of these experiences get triggered when around horses. Finally we have another living creature we can feel powerful over and we can (or rather think we can) control them. 

The majority of horse owners decide when their horses eat, where they live and how much movement they can have (!!!), whether they live alone or with other horses, and when and how they are exercised. 

What I’ve experienced with my own horses is a repeated message from them, that I’m stifling them and their needs when I slip into these run of the mill behaviours. 

When I came off my mare Connie last year and fractured my coccyx, I was exercising her because that’s what I thought she needed and that’s what horse owners should do, not because I wanted to have fun together in the saddle with her on that particular day. The truth was I was making her move and ouch, did I pay for it! 

When I go to rug up my gelding North Star, he tries everything he can to show me he doesn’t need a rug on. In his own horse way he laughs at me for trying, as if to say: “I’m a horse not a human, I’m designed to be outside in all weathers.” 

When Connie is afraid and needs time to assess a situation for herself and I try to insist its okay, she’s off like a rocket with me left with a rope burn in my hand. Yet if allow her to check it out for herself and move in the way she needs to in that moment, there’s no drama and no pain for either of us. 

Sound familiar? Are there deep recesses in your psyche being touched as you read these scenarios? 

As a small child how many hundreds of times are we told what to do and what not to do and how, what we need, what we don’t need and what the rest of society thinks is acceptable and therefore how we should behave to mould to this view? 

How often were you simply playing when a parent told you to stop, do something else or be less “crazy”? 

As we evolve as humans, surely this involves us re-learning how to allow our own inner-horse as well as our outer ones, to be free to follow their needs, to be wild and instinctual, autonomous, powerful and full of life? 

After all, isn’t that exactly what wasn’t allowed to happen when we were little instinctual creatures, full of life and energy? 

The non-training of horses; the re-socialising of humans. A revolutionary approach to horsemanship by switching the focus onto us, the human and letting horses be, well, horses. 

I welcome your comments and thoughts on this topic.

Please contact me if you’d like to know more about how EFL can help you transform your patterns and live more freely or please visit: www.equinereflections.co.uk 

©Angela Dunning, April 2011